How it Feels to be a Leader
How Someone's Feels to be a Leader
Me, having realized that I was a leader type at a very young age, I might not be the best person to answer, but here goes anyway.
First, let me tell you a story.
When I was in elementary and middle school, I was always aamaze at how some people seemed to have other naturally congregate around them and automatically follow what they tell them to do. (Not in a slave kind of way though, just like small favors for a friend.) Honestly, I had a group like that too, but it was too a lesser degree. I had the outcasts, so to speak. But I still wanted to be, to have that essence of popularity. And yes, you say that you're the type to eagerly help people, and that's also what leaders do, if not the main thing. Leaders help, whether indirectly or directly.
Now let me explain that. In my example of the leaders in school, they help the people in their group belong, and that's really all that we need. The feeling of knowing what we're doing and that someone is there to see that we're doing something, how we're doing something, or even talk about how to do something.
Now I get that to some people, leadership comes naturally. (*cough*) And so I'll explain how I become a leader, in a sense.
Firstly, you have to be confident. Confident people always have some sort of "aura" around them, which attracts other people, seeing that the confident person is sure that they belong. Even if you're unsure of yourself, still be confident, and know that if you don't succeed in this one thing, then at least you can brush it off and say that you expected this to happen. A tip that I learned from Quora is that when you walk into a room full of people you don't know (or at least a majority) act like they all already like you. Or at least have that mentality.
Secondly, with confidence, you can become egotistical. So don't be afraid to listen to other people and be engaged in what they're saying. Although I have a little trouble in figuring out what to do when someone tells me about their problems, whether to reassure them, comfort them, or propose a solution. Want to know more about the other person. Want to be able to ask "So, how's the new birth in the family doing?" or something after they've told you that a family member of theirs is pregnant. Pay attention. People love it when you bring up little details about their life that they've told you, and you can surprise them. Now, I understand that there are some people that you don't want to talk to, and that's fine. At least pretend you care and you can be off on your way.
Thirdly, there will definitely be other leaders that would see you as competition. Work with other leaders, if you can. If they refuse to cooperate, then they aren't a very good leader if they can't find a compromise. Multiple leaders fighting (likely indirectly) for the ultimate leadership is tiring for everyone. So try to work with them. If you have a new and seemingly better idea, politely address theirs and acknowledge that what they're saying is good, but that might work better. (Although try to avoid language that seemingly puts others down. Like instead of "better" you can be a little more specific and say that it's "more efficient".)
Fourthly (that's probably not a word), be social. Suppress the fear of being rejected or being put down. You won't get put down if the people respect you. And a lot of times they will. If they don't, then they don't matter anyway. I guess this also ties in with confidence. Set the mentality that once you start speaking or once you start walking over to someone to talk to them, you can't stop. You cannot turn back. Once you've pushed the cart down the hill, there's no stopping it. Because if you do stop, you will be hit with the hardest disappointment in yourself that you've ever felt, just because you couldn't say anything.
Fifthly (that's likely not a word either), be self-aware. Try to imagine yourself from another's point of view and interpret your actions or words how you think they would be interpreted. Know what you're doing and how it would affect everyone around you. Not only see that, but also know that you are not perfect. You can be close to perfect, but not exactly. And you can work to strive for that perfection.
Honestly, it all comes down to trusting yourself and making sure that other people also trust themselves and that they trust you.
If you can trust yourself to put yourself out there and be able to be comfortable with yourself, likely others will follow suit. Now, by comfortable I don't mean be completely comfortable. Acknowledge that you can work on yourself and that you have flaws, but you can also help other people work on themselves too, BUT ONLY IF THEY ASK FOR HELP. I cannot stress this enough, help when asked, no matter how hard it may be to resist. I mean, don't only help when asked, but at least know when they need help. If they refuse your help, that's okay, they'll come back if they want it.
Putting yourself out there, that is the main goal. Not being afraid in doing so, that would be the main obstacle.
This may have turned into more of a life lesson than advice on how to become a leader, but I hope it helps regardless. Good luck!
EDIT 1: One more thing, when you've established that you're a good person to be around, treat others as your equal. This can tie into respect and paying attention to other people. It's a very good feeling having someone that you aim to be like or "idolize" (whether it be subconsciously or not) treat you like you are just like they are.
(Luuli Hoang, 2016)
Me, having realized that I was a leader type at a very young age, I might not be the best person to answer, but here goes anyway.
First, let me tell you a story.
When I was in elementary and middle school, I was always aamaze at how some people seemed to have other naturally congregate around them and automatically follow what they tell them to do. (Not in a slave kind of way though, just like small favors for a friend.) Honestly, I had a group like that too, but it was too a lesser degree. I had the outcasts, so to speak. But I still wanted to be, to have that essence of popularity. And yes, you say that you're the type to eagerly help people, and that's also what leaders do, if not the main thing. Leaders help, whether indirectly or directly.
Now let me explain that. In my example of the leaders in school, they help the people in their group belong, and that's really all that we need. The feeling of knowing what we're doing and that someone is there to see that we're doing something, how we're doing something, or even talk about how to do something.
Now I get that to some people, leadership comes naturally. (*cough*) And so I'll explain how I become a leader, in a sense.
Firstly, you have to be confident. Confident people always have some sort of "aura" around them, which attracts other people, seeing that the confident person is sure that they belong. Even if you're unsure of yourself, still be confident, and know that if you don't succeed in this one thing, then at least you can brush it off and say that you expected this to happen. A tip that I learned from Quora is that when you walk into a room full of people you don't know (or at least a majority) act like they all already like you. Or at least have that mentality.
Secondly, with confidence, you can become egotistical. So don't be afraid to listen to other people and be engaged in what they're saying. Although I have a little trouble in figuring out what to do when someone tells me about their problems, whether to reassure them, comfort them, or propose a solution. Want to know more about the other person. Want to be able to ask "So, how's the new birth in the family doing?" or something after they've told you that a family member of theirs is pregnant. Pay attention. People love it when you bring up little details about their life that they've told you, and you can surprise them. Now, I understand that there are some people that you don't want to talk to, and that's fine. At least pretend you care and you can be off on your way.
Thirdly, there will definitely be other leaders that would see you as competition. Work with other leaders, if you can. If they refuse to cooperate, then they aren't a very good leader if they can't find a compromise. Multiple leaders fighting (likely indirectly) for the ultimate leadership is tiring for everyone. So try to work with them. If you have a new and seemingly better idea, politely address theirs and acknowledge that what they're saying is good, but that might work better. (Although try to avoid language that seemingly puts others down. Like instead of "better" you can be a little more specific and say that it's "more efficient".)
Fourthly (that's probably not a word), be social. Suppress the fear of being rejected or being put down. You won't get put down if the people respect you. And a lot of times they will. If they don't, then they don't matter anyway. I guess this also ties in with confidence. Set the mentality that once you start speaking or once you start walking over to someone to talk to them, you can't stop. You cannot turn back. Once you've pushed the cart down the hill, there's no stopping it. Because if you do stop, you will be hit with the hardest disappointment in yourself that you've ever felt, just because you couldn't say anything.
Fifthly (that's likely not a word either), be self-aware. Try to imagine yourself from another's point of view and interpret your actions or words how you think they would be interpreted. Know what you're doing and how it would affect everyone around you. Not only see that, but also know that you are not perfect. You can be close to perfect, but not exactly. And you can work to strive for that perfection.
Honestly, it all comes down to trusting yourself and making sure that other people also trust themselves and that they trust you.
If you can trust yourself to put yourself out there and be able to be comfortable with yourself, likely others will follow suit. Now, by comfortable I don't mean be completely comfortable. Acknowledge that you can work on yourself and that you have flaws, but you can also help other people work on themselves too, BUT ONLY IF THEY ASK FOR HELP. I cannot stress this enough, help when asked, no matter how hard it may be to resist. I mean, don't only help when asked, but at least know when they need help. If they refuse your help, that's okay, they'll come back if they want it.
Putting yourself out there, that is the main goal. Not being afraid in doing so, that would be the main obstacle.
This may have turned into more of a life lesson than advice on how to become a leader, but I hope it helps regardless. Good luck!
EDIT 1: One more thing, when you've established that you're a good person to be around, treat others as your equal. This can tie into respect and paying attention to other people. It's a very good feeling having someone that you aim to be like or "idolize" (whether it be subconsciously or not) treat you like you are just like they are.
(Luuli Hoang, 2016)
Comments
Post a Comment